January 2010
1 post
Less Books, More Beer
I don’t know if anyone has or does check this blog but needless to say there hasn’t been much new stuff. This is due to the fact that I am no longer at the bookstore and therefore don’t have much to say about the industry anymore. In order to maintain my goal to keep writing (new year’s resolution if you will) I have decided to start up a new blog that’s not so...
April 2009
5 posts
Top Phrases Heard By A Bookseller Week!!
Day 5 -
Customer: “I don’t have time for that.” (usually followed by storming out of the store)
I don’t have a translation for this one. My head has never been able to wrap around this logic. When you ask me a question and I don’t give the appropriate response it is beyond me how the grown-up reaction is to throw a hissy fit and walk out. Regardless of the...
Top Phrases Heard By A Bookseller Week!!
Day 4 -
(Better Late Then Never)
Customer: “I saw this same ‘product’ at ‘insert-competitor-here’ for much less. Do you honor competitor prices or should I just go get it there?”
Translation: “I didn’t want this particular item a week ago when I saw it in passing but now I have to have it. By using my awesome powers of negotiating I’m going to make you lower the price of this product and if...
Top Phrases Heard By A Bookseller Week!!
Day 3 -
Customer: “You should read this book, it will really change your life!”
Translation: “I have such an unhappy life, easily buy into obviously ridiculous fads, and assume that everyone must feel the same in order to justify why I’m buying this book.”
Unlike you, I really love my life, every single aspect of it. Even the job and people I gripe about daily...
Top Phrases Heard By A Bookseller Week!!
Day 2 -
Customer: “I really need this, can you get it by tomorrow?”
Translation: “I waited until the last minute to find this book. Regardless of it’s obscurity or popularity I expected you, personally, to have it. Since my procrastination will make me look a fool, I will hold you responsible.”
Listen, I genuinely try to help customers out when I can. However, when you wait until the night...
Top Phrases Heard By A Bookseller Week!!
Day 1 -
So I was originally going to post this as one giant list but it was too long for my liking and I figured a phrase countdown to Friday would be fun. So without further ado I give to you the top five phrases heard by booksellers and their realistic translations:
Customer: “I wanted to look at it first.”
Translation: “I have no intention of buying this $85 book, I just...
“If you want to gain a little perspective on what it’s going to be like...”
– Norm Feuti
March 2009
4 posts
Dear Public Schools,
I have a suggestion that will save taxpayers money and school children time. I say we abolish the D.A.R.E. program and start what I call the B.Y.O.B.B. program. What does B.Y.O.B.B. stand for you ask? Well that’s easy, B.Y.O.B.B. is an acronym for:
Bring
Your
Oblivious
Brat
To A
Bookstore
How does B.Y.O.B.B. work? Simple. The school takes students down to a local bookstore...
"Watch Michael Cera Play A Rehashed Version Of...
Apparently this was the working title of ‘Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist’ but somehow the marketing division of Columbia Pictures thought the former wouldn’t sell too many tickets. Unfortunately those knobs were right and 31 million dollars later I have to give them kudos for taking advantage of peoples gullibility, myself included.
For anyone who has not seen the...
A Plea to the Manga Nerds
Okay okay, we get it, you really like to read manga, and that’s alright. I really like spending “grown-up” time with my girlfriend and nobody can deny me that. However, just because it takes both you and I five minutes to finish doing what we love doesn’t give you the right to get in my way while I’m cleaning up the mess of the people before you. How would you...
January 2009
1 post
My Awesome Moment of Today:
Customer: I’m looking for this artist. He’s african, and plays, like, jazz.
Me: Unfortunately i need more information because that covers about 85% of the genre.
*These are the jabs & jives clientele & I give everyday.
December 2008
1 post
